When you're packing a suitcase to go on vacation, do you like to bring six trombones or seven?
I hope you can relate, dear reader, with my tendency to overpack. As a kid, if I was going over to grandma's house for an afternoon, I'd take a tote bag filled with my eight Captain Underpants books and eleven Jack Sparrow books, just in case I found the time to finish all five of The Spiderwick Chronicles. Even now, I can't help myself from packing that just-in-case stick of deodorant or the emergency pair of underwear. Just last month, I flew to Phoenix for Christmas with three books, read two of them, then flew back to Jersey with seven more. I have a problem. So you can imagine how stressful it's been trying to stuff the next five months of my life into a suitcase.
I'm not the only one in the cast who's feeling the stress, as we have over a dozen cast mates who have never toured before. Thankfully, we did have a company meeting earlier this week that laid out all the specifics of how the tour will operate: bus etiquette, potential pay period problems, a dirty shower floor/amputation horror story, the usual stuff. I honestly went into the meeting expecting a cute little checklist of everything we should pack that I could go over with the lovely Heidi, but I wound up truly overwhelmed by how many factors I wasn't considering.
We more or less have a general rule to live by while we're on the road: expect the unexpected. The usual clothes, toiletries, and sources of entertainment are required, but our first week we hit a whopping seven different cities over ten days. Our bus could break down, flights could be delayed, a cast mate might get Covid and we'll have no choice but to leave them for dead in Arkansas.
Based on what I'm hearing from the tour veterans in our company, the biggest hurdle is going to be, unsurprisingly, laundry. Not every hotel we're staying at has laundry units available for guests, and the ones that do may not have the best dryers in the world. For me, most of my suitcases are going to be stuffed with extra outfits, just in case I can't wash my clothes regularly. Looks like I'd benefit from having that emergency underwear after all!
While flying and bussing, the cast and crew will be allowed a checked bag, a carry-on and a personal item. It's looking like my Big Boy checked bag will be the home of... my entire wardrobe? I'm gonna be frequenting sweatpants, hoodies, and pajamas. I anticipate this first leg of the tour will be its coldest, so I will also have a beanie, scarf, and gloves available. I'll have a semi-formal 'fit for the occasional cast outing, but I'll mostly try to find sanctuary being a hermit in my hotel room. It's all going to feel more like an extended road trip, so I'm prepared to live comfortably and simply, with modest meals and sensible bedtimes.
I know this is the content you've been waiting for, so here's a list of every piece of clothing I've stuffed into my suitcase: 20 Pairs of Underwear, 21 Pairs of Socks (including novelty patterns that feature Milk & Cookies, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and Astronaut Sloths), 1 Hoodie, 1 Sweater, 2 Long Sleeve Shirts, 9 T-Shirts, 5 Gym Shirts, 3 Pairs of Shorts, 1 Pair of Jeans, 4 Pairs of Sweatpants, 2 Pajama Bottoms, 2 Pajama Tops, 1 Scarf, 1 Beanie, 1 Pair of Warm Gloves, 1 Pair of Weightlifting Gloves, 1 Winter Coat that will double as a Bus Pillow, and, of course, my Teal Bass Pro Shop Hat so I can be easily spotted across a crowded airport.
As far as entertainment, I think I'm pretty much covered. I've compromised by having two physical books, which is a huge step in the right direction for me. Not only does a big stack of books look suspicious going through TSA, but I wanted to take this opportunity to finally knock off a few lengthier titles I've had on my to-be-read shelf. I've settled on finally reading The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan, the first of fifteen books that make up the high fantasy series The Wheel of Time. Hopefully I can get through the first few entries while I'm on the road, but they are about 700+ pages a pop, so we'll see. I'm also bringing a big ol' nonfiction read, The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene. I'm optimistic I can take copious notes as I go, and hopefully it'll better inform my acting and playwrighting. Lastly, of course I can't leave without my trusted first generation Kindle, in the event I want to impulsively reread Little Women for the sixth time.
When I need a break from reading, I have my Nintendo Switch and myriad games to keep me occupied. Stuffed in my backpack will be my laptop for blogging and writing, and more chargers than you could possibly imagine. I've also learned that one of my fellow actors has always wanted to learn how to play Magic: The Gathering but never taken the plunge, so I'm indecisively going back and forth on which decks to pack. It's looking like my two Lord of the Rings themed Commander decks, since all of the guys in the cast are mega fans of the franchise, and both decks are pretty good for entry level players to learn (I am what I am).
The toiletries I've packed are expected and uninteresting.
I'm actually not sure what the rest of the cast has decided to bring. A few of them have thrown out ideas like a mini-keyboard for when musical inspiration strikes, a collapsable washing machine, even a mini-croc pot for making dips and soups. I can't imagine I'll really be in the mood to cook, even on the rare occasions we'll have access to a kitchen, so I must prepare myself for eating fast food pretty regularly. If you're interested in contributing to the "Feed Mychal" fund, my PayPal is @mychallev and my Venmo is @Mychal-Leverage. I wish I were kidding.
I am hoping beyond hope that I have enough sources of entertainment and enough warm clothes to get me through the next month. Everyone is in general agreement that this first three-week stretch is basically a trial run. Once the tour comes back to New York mid-February, I'll be a seasoned pro and know exactly how to repack for success, and I can let you know about all the glaring mistakes I've made this time around in Part 2 of 'The Bhaer Necessities.'
And scene.
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